to dear bebe nika

you are still too young to read this now. i just started my blog and yes, starting to write of things, well, almost everything that i fancy, hold dear and anything that just struck me --good or bad. since i made the commitment to let go of my fears, talk (or write, since it is my passion) and share myself, it wouldn't be complete if i didn't take the time to say a few lines to you.

your coming was a bittersweet moment for me. more sweet than bitter, of course. it's just that your coming underlined the fact that someone was gone and wouldn't be there to welcome you. but, i was oh so glad that in return, before she left, you were given to us. a gift. so tiny...and chinky-eyed. :)

if you weren't there, the passing of time would have been much slower, painful and unbearable. with the help of the people who matter--and you, when you arrived--i felt the hands of time slowly starting to move again. through you, we retraced our steps when we were once young and so energetic. the house is full of laughter again...and you brought so much happiness to your lolo max. i shared to my friends and colleagues almost every antic that you learned as you grew. naturally, i felt sad during those times when i had to correct you. i feared that you would grow spoiled if you were given free rein, you know. i was so proud every time you exhibited signs of an intelligent, inquiring mind. as if i had something to do about it. maybe like most moms or relatives feel, i felt that you were another einstein, a genius-waiting-to-be-discovered...and i still do. i can just imagine how your mom and dad feels.



you still have a long journey ahead of you. and i'm glad to be in most aspects of that journey.

teardrops and love

songs currently on my playlist:

1. teardrops on my guitar- i've always loved sad songs.
2. breathe (2AM) - love the beat. and how it is true to not forget to breathe. everything will pass.
3. way back into love - just as i love sad songs, i will always go back to uplifting ones.

maybe it is not about whether a song is happy or sad, but more on the fact that in particular moments of my life, be it during, before or after, the songs seem to speak and represent my journey.

hmm...the first song can also be my version of a time in my life when tears were all that's left coz of drew. :( it was a time when i wasn't looking for love but it found me..and turned my world upside down. and just as some good things reveal themselves...it also unravels. and you're left to wonder...and feel the pain.

and all you can do after is breathe...and pray you can still hold on. day by day.

then, by some miracle, there comes a time when you really feel satisfied and happy again. when you know who you are again and can be happy without feeling sad.

now the world has turned as it should be.

the beautiful one

yesterday a very important person in my life celebrated her natal day. i couldn't be there to greet her personally but my day was spent thinking and wishing the best for her, as what i do during "v.i.p.'s day's"as i term it.

we share a lot of things -- from clothes, shoes and material things, to ideas, values and those ideals we hold dear. with her, i am me.

i can just doze off without fearing she'll think i was bored by her. i can laugh out loud without caring that she'll think i'm bad. i can bare my innermost thoughts without fear that next day, i'll hear it being repeated in someone's conversation. i can just come home and give her a hug and cry, and everything will be light. with her, i was able to have my quiet moments and didn't feel bound to fill the silences so i'll not appear dull. she shared her family and made my childhood complete that i never felt mine was lacking.

more importantly, she loved the most precious person in my life like i did.. and will always do.

to this beautiful person...thank you. lots of love.