today i lost another father.
growing up without my own dad present in our lives, i can honestly say i never felt i lack one. sure he was sometimes there, he sends occasional cards, and came from time to time, more when we were grown up already. i loved him, as any kid or adult who was left practically to a mother's care can ever love a dad. although the relationship was oftentimes confusing and complex from a kid's view, i never felt hate nor bitter about it...then and now. thankfully mom tried to be positive and encouraging about it all. she never made us feel that he was less than a dad. and her whole family helped a lot.
i grew up in a houseful of adults. although we had househelp, my lolo (papa eras) and lola (matet) mostly took care of us when mom was out earning a living. so did tata romy, nana ermie, and tata edwin. we shared the ancestral house with them. and the families of mom's other brothers and sister helped shape what i am now.
being closeknit, nobody minded when all of us kids went from one house to the next and created (and left!) chaos. almost everything was shared. everybody was happy when a family member achieved something, no matter how small or trivial it was to others. everybody was sad when someone didn't quite got what he wanted or got sick.
when i was still a child, i found a second family in nana ofel's home. i never felt i was invading. oftentimes i was included in their jaunts to centro, legazpi or to taladong. my 3 cousins generously shared and invited me to their activities. tata romeo seemed not to mind when he will be cooking for me, as well. certainly one of my favorite cooks. he knows my tastes as much as he knows ann's, boy's and na ofel's. ming was more adaptable (and adventurous!) with the food choices than the four of us. he took it in stride that i would oftentimes show up and stay as long as i want. he took care of me sometimes after a sleepover and the rest either had school or work to go to. he drives to get and reserve bus tickets for me just like all the rest of the family who will be coming (and returning) from manila, and was encouraging that it is okay if i text to order for me pinangat and other pasalubongs and will have it ready when i will be going to manila again.
he was among those who tried to stand up for me when they thought i was being unfairly treated. a lot of memories, good and happy ones. he was just there, silently nurturing.
i was so happy 2 years ago when he got better after being in the ICU for a few days. and felt so lonely and sad when i was told we lost him today. nobody will ever call me meeying again.
though we were never mushy about things, i know he loved me as if i was one of his children. and i hope he knows i love him as if i was his own.
i was blessed in this lifetime. though mine was not a conventional family by most standards, i got more father figures than i could ever hope for.
