Monday, November 14, 2011

trapped birds

I wish I'd told you and I hear the echo
Someone tells me I have to be brave
In my belief that I was already fierce
I did not understand and lost him

But here i want to remember, say thanks
For he showed my worth in ways I saw
In my uncertainty I still wanted the words
Yet did not gamble on saying them

Trapped in myself, will I forever look
For you in all the eyes I meet
I hear you calling yet do not know
From where so I walk on and on


11/14/2011  12:30 am

Stars and Music

11/13/2011 11:50 pm

the strains of guitars and violins
weeping and fierce in its beauty
the beat of the bass and drums
breaking and touching the ground

the piano sits centerstage in its lonesome
black and white keys controls the crowd
the words echo with haunting sweetness
barely masking the pain and the tears fall

***
the stage is all set up once again
invisible and private yet eyes stare
recognition and resigned to its fate
the stars start to come out

***
wishes and sighs float up the sky
can somebody sing like him to me
he barely speaks to her and walks away
she stares and almost ran after him

Dreams

I dream of staring at the moonlight
Lying beside the man in my life
Without a care, silently holding hands
Wrapped in a world out of this time

I dream of finding the stars gone
When you took them with you
Walking away, leaving everything
I wake up knowing you weren't mine

I dream of falling down the stairs
On and off through the years
The cold from the marble handrail seeps in
Hands carefully gliding finally lets go


11/6/2011 1:43am

touch

barely touching yet you feel so alive
in the chaos that sorrounds you
the stillness and hearts beating fast
sound so loud and yet you feel alone


9/3/2011 5:54 pm

introduce me

i am an old soul who likes the classics, shakespeare's sonnets and the couple brown
a modern gal who continuously evolve and fight for equality not bordering on obsession nor stupidity.

just the thought of my hometown lights me up
i've walked the streets of my childhood a thousand times
rewritten a few memories and wrote new ones
most will be my secret while some were put here and there

i dance to the Music i hear, gets excited by movies and reads a lot
curls up in bed to read of the law, knights, princes and tales of love winning in the end


3:32pm 8/25

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Ruins by the Sea

She sat atop the ruins by the sea
Staring silently, blocking the revelry
The moon shines but making her lonely
The darkness masks her thoughts

The play of light beckons to him
Flitting across her lovely face
Silhouetted by shadows but glowing
In her stillness he finds peace

He sat silently beside her at the ruins
Reaching out, simply offering
The best that he is and she can see
In his eyes the best she is and can be

The silence broken by hearts beating
The same music they're hearing
It plays on and on, their hands touch
And the moon their silent witness.



- for the women who have discovered their beauty through a man's eyes and for the men who have recognized beauty and bravely shown everything that he is.


10/10 10:53pm

Friday, September 16, 2011

round the block

I find myself walking round the old neighborhood today
The busy streets seem so familiar yet strange
The blue building stands mockingly
Untouched by time hiding all its stories

How many me have stepped in and made memories
Did they laugh and cry with abandon
Dreamed silly fantasies which never came true
Are they still fools and holding on


8/8/2011 1:49am

musings

Put me out of this misery
Once again I am looking
Hoping that you'll be mine
Or leave everything behind

I sigh and hear you do the same
Is your reason the same I wonder
I wanna make the best of what's left
But I could never be other than me

11:13pm

Running through that day again
I try to understand but I am more confused
I've got to let go of this situation
Learn to rebuild me again








3:59: sept 10

Friday, September 2, 2011

full circle

All the things you don't like
Comes back full circle
And you're forced to pretend
Put defences and be on guard

Holding back the tears
Keeping the nightmares inside
Now you're where you started
All hopes dashed and crumbled

You don't know how to act
Questions abound left unanswered
And you're filled with confusion
Looking for confirmation that never came

You feel such A fraud
And think that people knows
You hide, you put on the mask
Try to blank out everything

june - july 2011

invisible

all bones and vacant eyes
invisible and hiding in the dark
heartbreakingly beautiful
in your misery i see the light



8/8/2011

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

You Say

You said you didn't like it
Just takin git as another part
You hate you lie
And believed all's fine

Making all these stories
Sounding so sincere
A lot thought its true
And followed you

In fantasy
You turned out a dream
I did not see
Blinded by the fame

You say you're done
You've left it all behind
Maybe you did for awhile
But you're back in time

Weaving lovely ideas
Telling the same lies
Spinning beautiful lines
They swallow it again

6/22 8:23pm

sad songs

In the beginning you cry
Whenever sad songs played
Trying to prevent the tears
Ashamed someone will hear

Day after day you're lonely
You cry out silently
Can't get up and get back
Terrified to stay in the corner

Months passed until one night
Found you can smile through the songs
That hurt and brought you down
And can feel whole again

8/3 11:30pm
every minute the color changes
at the corner where i stand
i see the lights enveloped in its own loveliness
it beckons but something holds you back

8/2 8:37pm

Friday, July 15, 2011

9 years

I am still missing you.

How you smile amidst the realities of the grown up world you inhabit: the troubles of a broken marriage, the struggle of bringing up 2 children almost on your own, and not bowing to the career politics you never wanted to play. How you can still think of others beyond your own family.

A brilliant mind buried in the backroom and just going on silently...not fighting for your worth but who oftentimes fought for others'.

Uncomplaining and humble yet you exude courage and confidence. You taught independence, belief in oneself, pride, compassion, good manners and forgiveness by example. You always knew when to coddle or scold, and never being ashamed of expressing your love. Always letting go and trusting us to forge our own way but silently watching and ready, to hug, kiss or make us smile and putting things in perspective.

A lot of these I need to put in practice for I am not as courageous yet. In all my independence I am still a child in may ways. Still the same girl who like and is quiet at home, who is happy to follow than lead and leave the decisions to the old. :) Quite the opposite when I am at work. A girl who often times hide and is afraid of loving someone new but can let go once you get close, for friends and family, not as freely as you did but slowly.

I am in awe when I see a lot of the things you did before made more sense now and some are just being done when you did it ages ago.

I thank you for being the strongest, selfless, loving and warm woman I've ever known. Thank you for making us appreciate and see the beauty of family, music, simplicity, good food, respect and love.

So many thoughts of if you were here, how I wish you were here. 9 years on and I am still missing you...




11:35 pm 7/12/2011 for July 16th

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Strings

the sound of guitar strings
more of how it feels
and i long for many things
that cannot be in my choice

questions keep coming back
why do i linger, why am i here
and i remind myself of that first time
when i knew exactly why at the start

then it was different
and every day it faded
every minute it changes
until i am back and can smile


> june 17, 2011 9:25am

Saturday, June 25, 2011

nobody

9/15/2010 11:00 pm

Nobody knows you
When darkness rolls
And you're all aone
You're back there again

Nobody there for you
When you needed heroes
Slay all monsters and
Hold you, keep close

You learned early on
Hiding away behind a smile
Be what you never had
A hero and be innocent

Nobody can fool you
There can be stories untold
In living and brave choices
Were meant for you

bEyonD

11:04
June 5, 2011

i can't help but look back
after all these years
memories remain unchanged
i cry and try to move on

then i'll hear your voice
telling me i am special
and it's like before
when i didn't need words

i believed you were mine
as i was yours
but We found each other
at a time beyond this world

Shadows

10:51am
June 5, 2011

Memories of innocence
Of a time when insecurities
Were cured by a look
A smile, a song

You made me realize
Who I am, where I belong
Kept me company in the shadows
And lit the fire inside

A rockstar genius in disguise
Who made me come out
Learn about myself and the world
Let it be known I am special

Yet I wasn't ready
And your world became bigger
You tried to let me in
In all the confusion I stayed behind